Friday Afternoons

My second joy of this blog is Friday afternoons which turn into Friday nights, and early Saturday mornings. One of the greatest joys of my week is getting lunch and drinks with a few girlfriends after work on Fridays and just chatting about everything. It's weird, but I think I'm even picking up on their mannerisms and different ways of speaking because it's been a while since I've had such good conversations and just really enjoyed my time with people. Some Fridays we go the quesadilla place around the corner from my metro stop (Chapultepec)...soooo good! And then we go to my apartment and have some beers. Other times we go to cute little restaurants and have drinks and snacks. Last night we went to Lizzie's newly remodeled house. It's so cute! It makes me excited to have my own little spot someday. She made some delicious food, the best I've had in a long time (Moroccan stew mmm) and the five of us had some great conversations. Although, lately I've been suffering from verbal diarrhea and just saying whatever pops into my head. Hopefully they enjoy my company as much as I enjoy theirs! So, joy number 2: Great company, food and drinks on Friday afternoons.

Joys

Interesting how things can just work out sometimes. Things are going well here in DF, the job is good, friends are great, and I am really enjoying my last few months in Mexico. Coming back after Winter break was hard. Michigan used to shock me, make me feel uncomfortable and weird in a place I had once called home. But things have changed now, and I really feel ready to move back and buy a dresser with enough drawers that I don't have to live out of a suitcase. I guess I'm just ready to start something new. It's funny that now that I will have a teaching degree, master's degree, and enough experience that I could teach basically anywhere in the world (which was the original goal), now I just want to go home. Of course, this change does have to do with a certain someone, but it also has to do with everything. I miss my family, and I am tired of missing the important things that are happening with the people I really care about.
So coming back to Mexico in January was a trial. And I am still working on staying positive. I have a new friend who came to Mexico from Canada. She didn't love DF at first, and she's still adjusting, but she told me something that is making my time here so much more enjoyable. She told me that when she first came to Mexico, really she just missed her little everyday "joys." She used to get great coffee on her way to work, and she loved being able to go to craft stores and get anything she wanted. And at first, she couldn't find any joys in Mexico and could only focus on what she had lost. But eventually she started finding her little joys. The things you focus on so that the bad doesn't seem so bad. For her it's the hamburger stand in her neighborhood and the cheesebuns at the bakery across the street. So I started noticing things. Joys that I will miss when I leave Mexico. And really, I have so so many joys in my life. I realized that I need to stop ignoring joy when it's right in front of me. So from now on (and I'm going to try to stick with this blog a little better, I know I'm terrible) I am going to try to focus on my joys for the last 4.3 months I have left in this beautiful, crazy, and unique country. I sound very optimistic don't I?

Well, here is my first joy:

Long distance relationships are not always fun. I am learning this through my relationship with Matt. Michigan has never felt so far away. But, it is completely and totally worth it and I don't even consider giving up for a second. So, while there are many drawbacks of having a long distance relationship, there are some good things. Here is a lovely photo of the wonderful long distance flowers that Matt sent to my school for Valentine's Day. He suffered through language barriers and figuring out crazy Mexican addresses to get them to me. While of course I would rather be able to actually spend Valentine's Day with him, I'm thinking that this time apart will make us appreciate each other more. I know it made me appreciate the flowers more.

So ta da. Joy #1: Long distance presents.

A Tale of 2 Countries

Pachuca to DC to Michigan to DF. It's amazing how much one person can change in a matter of months. I haven't written in quite a while, but I was still making up my mind about many things...and of course, I still am. But I am getting the idea. First things first:

Pachuca. Leaving Pachuca was so hard. I'm not sure why, because I wasn't particularly happy there. I felt like it was the end of an era, like graduating college or saying goodbye to a friend you know you will never be so close to again. Do you think people are ever a little sad when they are released from prison? Maybe a feeling of the weight of time, or changes you aren't sure can ever be reversed? Not that Pachuca was a prison, no that would be dramatic, but something changed in me when I was there. I felt darker, heavier, weaker. Not good things. But I learned a lot about myself, the things I will stand against and the things I don't want. The thoughts that I should confront and the ones I should dismiss. I had/have such good friends in Pachuca. But my definition of "good friends" definitely included many exceptions while I was there. I think the sadness I felt in leaving, was a sadness in losing an understanding I had kept with myself. A release. I don't regret my time there, that would be a waste. But I am thankful that I have moved on and feel free. I have remembered what I value in myself and others. Things are beautiful again.

Summertime. Coming home is always a shock. But I have a friend who let me stay with her and her family for an entire month, and never acted like it was an inconvenience. People change, people stay the same. Staying in DC and taking courses brought me back to life. I had interesting conversations. People were genuinely interested in me, and didn't criticise or judge. People talked to me on the metro just to be friendly. I made connections that weren't forced, and weren't based on a party or alcohol or some need to blend. I could be me and no one stared, no one made me feel bad about who I am. No one held me down.

Then in Michigan, spending time with my mom and my best friends. I am so lucky. Wedding showers, nights in and making dinner, rob's pizza, my mom's chicken, my grandpa, country music with the windows down, Cassie and Laura and Jenny, salads that won't make me sick. All good things.

Meeting people that surprise you and change you for the better. People that help you remember what you used to be when you were lighter and stronger and happier and encourage you to be yourself rather than what they want or expect you to be because all they want or expect you to be is yourself. Who tell you secrets. Who make you special.

I am not a grandma. I am not old. I am not hostile. I am not tired. I am not a prude. I am not quiet. I am not boring. I am me.

I am many things. I am whatever I want to be. Take me, baby, or leave me.

Mexico DF. Arriving here was a struggle. No apartment, new job, living in a hotel, getting sick, missing my best friend's wedding. It's hard to push down thoughts of regret in times like those. But the apartment has been found, the job is great, the friends are caring. I feel so much more free than I've felt in so long I just want to scream. But a happy scream. A shout? Un grito de independencia? It's so nice to explore the city and be stimulated by everyday things. There are so many things and people I miss. So many things I try not to think about because they give me that familiar heart pain that comes with my current chosen lifestyle.
I feel so new and ready for anything. I have fantastic conversations every night. Distant conversations, but fantastic ones. I have a roommate who rolls me up like a burrito in my blanket and makes me mac n cheese at 4 am when I am feeling a little sad. I have people who tell me I'm amazing and mean it. Happy happy happy.

Hands

So I was just thinking about the criteria I have in finding a good match...aka boyfriend. And I think it truly is strange, but number 1 is definitely that he has to have bigger hands than me. There's just something strange about people with small hands...specifically men. Just recently I met someone who had tiiiiiny hands and it kinda freaked me out. I just kept staring at them, and thankfully I had only had like 2 drinks because I probably would have said something offensive had I drank more. I still remember in high school when I went on a date with a guy, and I just couldn't stop looking at his mini baby hands. Needless to say, we didn't have a second date...it also didn't help that his name was Ricky Love. But really, it was more to do with the hands. I mean to be honest, sometimes I like to sit at tiny tables, or buy mini travel products, or drink out of those tiny bottles from the wetbar and pretend I'm a giant...but who wants to date someone who makes them feel like that all the time? Small hands=creepy. They also have to have decently nice hands. No weird growths or scary nails. Clean. The idea of sliding the wedding band on a baby like hand at the altar gives me the willies. I have semi large hands for a female, and it may mean I'm shallow to care but come on, a girls gotta have her standards.

Cell Phones.

My cell phone stopped working about a week and a half ago. On one hand, I like having a cell phone. It keeps me more in the loop. On the other hand, sometimes I feel a little too easily accessible. I mean what if I want to take a nap? People can be so offended when you turn of your phone, as though it is a personal insult- like you just don't care if they call you or not. Really, all you want is some nice midday uninterrupted sleep. Also, I was receiving mutiple text messages each day from Movistar (the cell phone co.) about specials and deals. I once recieved 7 messages from Movistar in one day. I started feeling like the only reason I had a cell phone was to get crap messages from that crap company. v v obnoxious. If I get a cell phone again, I will def not be using Movistar. The desperation is really unattractive.

3 teachers have already left the school. Strange that I haven't yet been at the school 2 years, and I am the teacher who has been here 4th longest (and the others are married to Mexicans). That being said, I think my time here is about up. I mean really, the cell phone I bought when I first moved here just wore out. It's almost 2 years old. Time to moooove on.

***Note:From the photo, it may actually appear that the phone did not just "wear out" as aforementioned. It looks as though it may have been damaged. The reason being that when I realized it was dead and not to be brought back to life...I took the opportunity to throw the phone against the cement wall of my bedroom. Not out of anger, just felt like doing it. Therapy.

Mac n' Cheese

So for some reason, Mexico likes to sell certain foods, and then decide to stop. For example, the awesome tomato soup that I was addicted to for a while. Now I had to go back to the Campbell's and it is crap. More recently, however, they stopped selling Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. What did Kraft ever do to you, Mexico? What the heck, this is the one thing from the states that makes me feel better after a bad day (or a loooong night). BUT alas! I have discovered a new and IMPROVED mac n' cheese! It's made with REAL CHEDDAR CHEESE...in powder form....? They better not stop selling this one......and yes, it IS a great value.

Ay niños….

So I have some pretty funny (and strange students). Recently, the students had a vocablary quiz. It was a fill in the blank quiz with a word bank, including words like "guess, estimate, increase, decrease etc". One of the questions was 1) Sometimes I ______________when I don't know the answer on a test.


obviously the answer would be "guess". But one of my students wrote- "cheat". It wasn't even a vocabulary word! It wasn't in the word bank! But hey, at least he's honest. And he spelled it right. I mean, I was impressed he knew the word "cheat".

Most of my students just say "Miiiiiiiss he are doing tramp" (Trampas being cheating). Although I must say, I do find it interesting that he wrote cheat but obviously was not cheating at that moment since no one else in the class wrote cheat......strange. Not a v. good cheater. Of course he got a point for that question. Too bad that was one of the only. Again, not a very good cheater.


This picture is my favorite food chain drawn by a student. So awesome. Could be in a disney movie. Just look at that squirrel! Artistic genius...eat that dreamworks. Booya.